quite possibly the longest day of my life. seconds dragged on like hours in a dentist's chair. each minute was a week. hours no longer have definition. waiting. waiting. waiting. if i close my eyes, tuesday will come. can i sleep that long? no. no i can't.
so instead, i'll practice laying on my couch. i never knew i needed practice doing that, but managed to fall off of it over the weekend.
t: good morning
d: (startled - including full body spasm) whmmmm
t: don't roll over, you'll fall off the couch
d: hmmm (in my head, "i know i'll fall off if i roll over, i've got lots of couch experience. how dumb do you think i am" -- i should mention i'm not very coherent or social in the morning)
t: it's 9:45. you should get up.
d: (deep breath) uhmmm hmmm
t: do you want to sleep longer?
d: just five more minutes.
t: ok. but don't fall off the couch. (exits)
a couple of minutes pass... i'm not quite sure exactly...
i roll over, realizing i'm close to the edge so i take the necessary precautions. now facing the room, i try to decide if now is the right time to wake up. then it happens. i hit the floor. but my pillow also landed underneath me so i just decided that was a sign i should go back to sleep. turns out the floor isn't that comfortable so i couldn't even do that.
notice that there's no more dialogue. all of the concern shown prior to falling on the floor was replaced by silence after it actually happened. no "is everything alright in there" or "what happened? are you ok?" just silence. even laughter would have been something. but that didn't come until later. and then more laughter. ahhh, laughter.
i'm funny. and hungry. and am short another pair of socks. that reminds me... i need to do some laundry tonight.
6 comments:
Who wakes up at 9:45 on a weekend? Who? No wonder you fell on the floor.
You know, if you take all of your extra socks and tape them together with scotch tape and put them on the floor in front of the couch...ta da! Instant cushion!
Am I taking a picture for you or not? I can't remember.
k2 - thank you. i thought it was pretty early too. but we had a long list of things to do so we had to get started early.
picture? that was the agreement, but if you've reconsidered and don't think i'm worth it anymore, then i can live with that. but since i'm sure you don't think that, we agreed to a picture of the trailblazers from the nosebleed seats at some point in the upcoming season.
I told you not to roll over. Didn't I say, don't fall off the couch? I did. Because I'm smart. But then, we've been over that.
Also. Lest anyone think that I am a cold insensitive creature, I honestly didn't think you'd fall off the couch so soon after I warned you of the dangers.
I mean, really.
Ok...yes...blazers game. Jesus, I haven't been to one in like 10 years. I'll have to figure out when the season starts...and which stadium they play in now...and where you get tickets...and whether or not any of the good players are currently in jail...you're a patient guy, right? Heterosexual...but patient?
well, i find it charming, for some reason, that you fell off the couch.
i wish i could do such things charmingly. i end up just looking like a dangblasted fool.
doc - well thank you. i am quite charming. graceful? no. but charming? yes. and modest. very modest. it's really too bad nobody was around to actually witness it.
Post a Comment