no greater individual performer in the league...

don't you love the fact that the title of this entry has absolutely nothing to do with the posting itself?

well, it seems as though i didn't win the lottery. and to top things off, i had to wake up at 5am this morning for a stupid photoshoot. i'm ridiculously bitter in the morning. and the earlier i'm forced to get up, the more bitter i am. i need my sleep. neeeeeeeeeeed it. it's probably a good thing i didn't find out at 5am this morning that i didn't win the lottery. someone could have been seriously injured or spoken to in a very stern manner.

uh oh... fire in the hole!

oops, false alarm.

my birthday is quickly approaching, but i'm having trouble waiting for a cake. i'm seriously considering going to dairy queen to buy a pre-birthday birthday ice cream cake. and no! i don't care if it sounds pathetic. you see, if someone else gets me a cake, then that means i'm gonna have to share it. the pre-birthday birthday cake will be all mine. so you see the appeal, right? anyway, it's too late tonight to go get one, so we'll see what tomorrow brings.

you know what? it makes me really mad when i go to all the trouble of cooking up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at marineland says, "you can't throw chicken to the dolphins. they eat fish." sure they eat fish... if that's all you give 'em. man, wise up!

desperately seeking sofa

i am in dire need of a new sofa. for the past few weeks, i've had serious real estate fever and have recently come to the conclusion that this just isn't the right time for me to be buying a house. i think, however, a sofa would be a good compromise... well, maybe not, but it would at least make me a bit more content with my current setting.

sometimes i really hate my brain and wish it wasn't mine anymore. those are the days i could benefit from being a drinker or druggie. alas... one can't change who they are so here i sit... utterly sober and wrestling with my conscience.

i'm getting bored with my job. it's not challenging anymore and i don't forsee any major improvements in the near future. this is typically the time i would pack my bags and move on to a new challenge, but i have a feeling that will soon become detrimental to my career so i'm forcing myself to stick it out for a while longer. but even still, i need to find something to distract me. (or maybe "someone"... if you know what i mean)

i have to go check on my laundry.

ok! clothes are in the dryer... (in case you were concerned)

i wonder if i won the lottery. i probably did... i bought two tickets so one of them should definitely be the winner. and i also bought one of those "PayDay" tickets. don't ask... someone talked me into buying lottery tickets this week. i never buy 'em... but i could use a few million dollars so i figured it was a good investment. i'll have to try to remember to cash my ticket in tomorrow and collect my cheque(s).

i'm not as nimble as i used to be. last week, i had to take a day off of work because my ass was sore. before you start to jump to disgusting conclusions, let me just firstly say "shut up," and secondly, it wasn't really my ass. i believe it was my tailbone - which, yes, i guess you could consider the tailbone within the ass viscinity. anyway, the doctor said it was a pulled muscle, but i think she was drunk when she made that diagnosis. i asked for a second opinion, but she wouldn't give me one.

this posting is no fun at all. so how about this:

probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is, is a wounded seal trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?!

any time i see something screech across a room and latch onto some guys neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, i have to laugh because WHAT IS THAT THING?

cricket boy

Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town.

Bye, Cricket Boy.

the elderly

i live in a building full of old people. some are on the brink death. as a 30 year old, this should make me feel young. it doesn't, but that's not their problem. where am i going with this? i can't bash old people on my blog - at least not in my first post.

i had another blog at one time... you may have seen it. it was called "the summer of george." i started that blog one night as i was doing laundry. it actually became sort of a theme of the blog which may or may not be why it suffered a slow and painful death. the reason i bring it up is that, once again, i'm doing laundry and starting a blog.

this time, i'm not telling my friends. they put a lot of pressure on me to post stuff. i hate that! i almost started smoking because of the pressure. and cigarettes are expensive... especially in addition to my cocaine and heroine habits. so i don't care who you think you are, i won't be pressured into posting unless i feel like it. :~)

i've changed my mind about bashing the elderly in my first blog. old people need to learn how to drive. and they need to relax a bit. oh yeah, and some of 'em need to shower every once in a while. especially the one downstairs from me who constantly stops me to chat even though i have no desire whatsoever to hear about his friends from the army. no wonder his wife is half crazy (or pretends to be). that said, there are a pile of great old people out there. so if you're reading this, and you're old, i'm sure you're one of the nice ones that i'd like... but not in the creepy, perverted way you're thinking. geez... get a grip.

anyway, that's enough for my first posting. if my other blog was any indication, i may feel compelled to write something else soon. maybe even later tonight. after my laundry finishes.