Wednesday, August 09, 2006

ahhhhh montreal...

...you whore.

and i mean that in the most flattering way possible. but for the record, the three streets i've walked down were quite whorish. i'm having trouble finding a place to eat that doesn't have nude dancers. ok... that's not true. i ate at the baton rouge. they make delicious baby back ribs. but the strip bars and adult stores significantly outnumber the restaurants.

and so explains the "whore" comment.

on another note, this city is full of beautiful women. so i like that part. i noticed that in toronto yesterday too. how can i convince a few thousand of these people to move to moncton? maybe it would just be easier for me to move to toronto or montreal.

someone entertain me!

6 comments:

Thérèse said...

For a second I thought you were talking to me. I was getting ready to be super insulted and say that it wasn't me who threw the cake and did the meringue on it, but then I realized you were talking to another city entirely.

kara said...

The beauty of any "whore comment" should be that one never has to explain it. Wouldn't you say? And where the hell is Moncton? And why is there a vowel missing from the middle?

The Dog of Freetown said...

No no, I think they should move to Moncton. The pied piper was pretty good at getting thousands of people to follow him, well I say "people" but actually they were kids so you might not want to copy that. You could try something similar with the strippers though - American cinema has taught me that they are nothing but vaccuous money grabbing, erm, whores, so all you need to do is drive from Montreal/Toronto with a dollar bill waving out the window. The strippers will follow. Alternatively, set up a "strip mall" in Moncton. That should bring em in.

d said...

t - you're not a city... we've talked about this before. or maybe not. i haven't eaten since lunch and i'm extremely hungry. and are you saying that in fact it was you who destroyed the cake? because if so, i don't think we can be friends anymore.

k2 - i agree. the only reason i 'splained the comment is because i assumed that t is the only one of my readers who has been to montreal. that could be an incorrect assumption. but so what. and moncton is almost as far away from portland that you can get on north america (aside from newfoundland). honestly, i don't know why there's a vowel missing from the middle. and how do you know there actually is? which vowel is missing? who told you about it?

k - i don't really want the strippers to follow. i prefer my women to have higher moral standards. like the queen. or paris hilton. however, if i did want to attract strippers in a pied piper sort of way, i think you nailed the approach.

kara said...

No one told me...I just find it unnatural to have a "..nct.." situation without there being a vowel somewhere. Throws off my whole sense of right and wrong. And damn you for knowing where Portland is. You elite Canadians and your superior knowledge of geography all disgust me. Unless you just pulled up google maps...then you're my kind 'a guy.

d said...

k2 - don't give me too much credit regarding geography. the only reason i know where portland is is because i'm a big NBA fan. let me explain through the use of a boring story.

there's also a portland, maine about 5 hours drive from where i grew up, so when i was a kid, i once asked my father to take me to an NBA game in portland. he said, "the trailblazers play in portland, oregon you brain dead piece of shit" and then he laughed and laughed. and that's why, to this day, i hate my father's laugh and the portland trailblazers. oh... i mean, that's why i know where portland is.