Wednesday, December 14, 2005

ode to winter

you are a stupid, pathetic excuse for a season.
nobody likes you, except for maybe the insane.
you're deceitful and full of yourself,
like a beautiful woman who looks nice from a distance but ends up being a collossal bitch when you ask her to go to bed with you.

i hate you. i hate you. i hate you.
i hate you. i hate you. i hate you.
i hate you. i hate you. i hate you.
i hate you. i hate you. i hate you.
go to hell, you waste of five good months.
bring me some candy.

3 comments:

Thérèse said...

Oh Doug. You do make me laugh.

I love your tribute.

d said...

(ok, you gotta read this in your best joe pesci voice)

whattya mean "i make you laugh?"

you think i'm funny? like the way i talk? what?

funny how? i mean, what's funny about me? funny how?

let me understand this... cuz i... maybe it's me... maybe i'm a little f%$@ed up maybe. I'm funny how? i mean funny, like i'm a clown? i amuse you? i make you laugh? i'm here to f%$@in' amuse you? whattya mean funny? funny how? how am i funny?

don't get all defensive. you said it! you said i make you laugh. how do i do that? what the f%$@ is so funny about me? tell me. tell me what's funny!

(it's my ever-present anger, isn't it?)

Thérèse said...

(deadpan) Yes, dear. It's your ever present anger.