vacation from my blog... and yours too

don't worry. it's just a few days. two brothers and a sister-in-law are coming to visit this weekend so... you know... i'll be busy.

things i do when i'm bored... apparently

here's a new one. i was a little bored tonight so i figured, what the hell... i'm going to shave my head.

well... what's done is done. and i sure hope what they say is true - bald is beautiful.

and also...

i think i've decided to write a book. but i need help from a few hundred females. any volunteers? i need to do market research.

t's home

welcome back t!!

(ask her about her pinata) and if anyone else gets chocolate from her, it's mine!

and by "pinata" - i mean "pinata... perverts.

the girl who won't marry me

so some of you may recall the post i made about asking the girl at work to marry me. she originally said yes, but then inexplicately changed her mind. or at least if there was a reason, i can't recall it.

anyway, we were at the driving range a couple of days ago and she's talking about a bunch of stuff. i wasn't really listening to a lot of it... it was just kind of background noise. but one part was about a guy she met at the gym who she says "flirts" with her, but he's never asked her out. i told her he probably heard how much she likes to break other guys' hearts by agreeing to marry them and then backing out. hahaha, i'm freakin' hilarious! so i suggested she ask him out. "guys like it when the girl asks. so quit being a whining baby and ask him." and that's when i got the stare.

so i'm like "don't give me the stare. i invented the stare. besides, you're doing it all wrong." but it made me wonder... do guys really like it when the girl asks? i can only speak for myself. and how do other girls feel about asking a guy? and why the hell didn't she marry me? i also asked t to marry me, but she said "why should i? what are you bringing to the marriage?" so i pretty much knew that wasn't going to happen even though i made some really strong arguments. i'm gonna keep asking though. i don't give up at the first (or second) failure.

it IS possible to build a fence without showing ass crack

here's where i started at 11am this morning...


and two short hours later...


sure it's a bit ugly right now. but i had to use the wood from the old fence. the other side looks great. maybe i should have taken a picture of it instead... but i didn't have my shoes on so could only take the pic from my deck.

you asked for it... ok, maybe you didn't. i don't know.

special thanks to camobunny for finding and providing me with the pic of my shoe.

i've got that feeling...

... like i've got spiders crawling all over me. i just went home to check to see if my tv tray was missing (it's not, thankfully, but i'm keeping my eye on you camobunny), and as i was walking in the door, i inadvertantly walked through a spider web. and ever since, i can't shake the feeling of spiders crawling on me.

"is it on me? i feel like it's on me!"

in my hair. in my eyebrows. in my ears. all over my face. i can't get comfortable.

if...

if i had a dozen or so wishes, i'm pretty sure one of them would be to have the ability to sing like pavarotti.

stories from home part 1

i'm at my father's place. i'm bored silly. (seriously). my father likes nascar. so he decides to try to convince me how much fun it is to watch by... well, watching it. and then some relief arrives. one of my older brothers arrives - i have two older brothers... one normal... one, well, not so much. the normal one arrives and has his youngest son with him (he's about 14 months old).

so we chat a bit. home seems a little less boring for the moment. but for some reason, we end up back in front of the nascar tv. luckily, my 14 month-old nephew has a fetish for remote controls so he grabbed the remote for the satellite and started pushing buttons. his first few attempts didn't improve the situation much. the first time, it was some gospel show. second time was the country music video station... third time, i can't really remember. then, like the little bastard knew what he was doing, he got to within one click of ordering the playboy channel.

and then... my father took control of the remote again. nascar.

you know what?

i don't get it...

a change in attitude

for those of you who get a kick out of my attitude, don't worry... it's just a temporary change.

all week i've been dreading the idea of having to go back to my home town for father's day. but since i went to visit my mother on mother's day, i don't want dad thinking even less of me for not treating him equally. (my parents are divorced and apparently are still keeping score after almost 15 years).

so i grew up in this pathetic excuse for a town with only about 6,000 people in it. nobody ever leaves and those that do become outcasts because they aspire to do more with their lives than drive in circles around town every night... (seriously - there's a thing called "the loop" and that's what people do. "what are you doin' tonight?" -- "probably drive the loop.")

so where was i? oh yeah... i've secretly been wishing to get seriously ill all week so i could avoid going... but my stupid immune system is in tip top shape so i never get sick. can't even fake a cough for crying out loud. anyway, it just hit me this morning. every time i go back home, something stupid always happens. so rather than looking upon this trip as a hassle, i've decided to change my attitude and look at it as good writing material. my only concern is that it'll be so lucrative, i'll have to go back. and my next planned trip there isn't until christmas.

anyway, see you in a couple of days. if i make it back alive that is. (ahhh.... there's that old attitude i've come to love).

this morning...

...i was mentally and physically defeated by a mango.

so i was talking to someone last night and they told me i shouldn't worry about my eyebrows eventually growing out to look like andy rooney's. 'cause i don't have thick eyebrows right now.

she said what i should be worried about is my ears getting big. right now, they're pretty much the perfect size... but apparently, the ears never stop growing. is it just me? or is that really frightening? today at lunch, i spent the entire hour staring into the mirror trying to determine if my ears have grown.

modern mysteries

i remember when...

i never thought i'd ever say those words, but i can't help it.

anyway, i remember when you could have pizza delivered for free. and, it would be guaranteed to be there in less than 30 minutes or you'd get it for free. i miss those days. a lot. due to the whole garlic fingers fiasco this afternoon (thanks t), i was craving garlic fingers all afternoon so, true to my word, i ordered some. of course, they won't just deliver garlic fingers because there's a minimum order amount so i also ordered a pizza. lunch for tomorrow, i thought. so all of a sudden, an $8 garlic finger supper turned into $27. pizza, garlic finger for $16.99 - what a deal. but since i had it delivered, there was a delivery charge. and of course, a tip. and since the world is so dangerous, i rarely carry more than $10 cash so i had to pay with my ATM card. apparently they charge for that too on delivery. this whole experience makes me want to dust off my thesis on customer service and consumer behaviour and send it to the pizza place. but i won't. i'll just add it to my list of restaurants i'll never order from again.

and what's up with dr. pepper? i don't have a problem with any doctors. and i love pepper and red/green/yellow/banana peppers. but i can't stomach dr. pepper. maybe there's no direct link. but if there's not, it's a poor choice of a name. don't you think?

ok. now you say something.