you know you're popular when...

...cabbies almost get into a fist fight over you.

picture it. i'm outside of the delta ottawa in... umm... ottawa and getting ready to head to a meeting. it's taxi time! yay! i love taxis! (i may be slightly exaggerating here. meaning, i tolerate taxis due to the fact that i detest public transit.)

anyway, there's a group of four or five asian people ahead of me and they start to walk toward a taxi parked on the street. but at the delta ottawa, there's a taxi stand so one of the taxis there blew his horn and started moving toward the asian crowd. so me and my boss waved for the next taxi in the stand and he made his way over, got out and was loading our bags in the trunk when taxi driver #1 comes over and starts yelling. here's how it went:

taxi driver #1 (thick mid-eastern accent): what are you doing? these are my people.

taxi driver #2 (thick unrecognizable accent): no. they're mine. those ones are yours (pointing at the asian group).

taxi driver #1: no. they don't want taxi. these are mine. (starts grabbing our bags out of the trunk)

my boss: oh... hey, umm... hold on a second.

taxi driver #2: (grabbing the bags away from taxi driver #1) what are you doing? don't be idiot. those are your people. these are mine!

taxi driver #1: don't you listen? they don't want taxi. what's wrong with you? you're being stupid face. why you aren't being respectful. (now in the face of the taxi driver #2)

taxi driver #2: i should slap you on your face, you are fucker-man. these are my people. you wait for the next one.

taxi driver #1: i was first. what's wrong with you? you should be respectful. we drive taxi. i was first. these are mine.

taxi driver #2: no. why don't you go sit down. you're idiot. you're just big dummy. i should punch you. (slams trunk)

now, this argument continues at the driver's door for another 30 or 40 seconds. everyone outside of the hotel is watching us. finally, we get in the cab and taxi driver #1 walks by and says:

"alright. go with your stupid driver."

and my boss replies: "ok. you have yourself a good day too."

we close our doors, taxi driver #2 gets in and i say "boy... you're going to be really disappointed when you find out our fare's only going to be worth about five bucks. take us to slater street my good man."

moo

get it? that's a greeting from cowtown. ahhh, shut up.

so yeah, i'm finally here in calgary. and i'm stealing internet from some fool who is using an unsecure wireless network. but only for today (and yesterday)... my internet gets hooked up tomorrow. anyway, i typed up a blog post over the weekend while i was on my way here. and since i put all that work into it, i'm going to post it. my first post from calgary. here it is:

You know... When a man (and I use that term lightly) purchases a leather baseball hat, he's committed to that stock car team. Chances are, he also has his eye on the matching team jacket.

My flight to Calgary was cancelled yesterday. Stranded for another day without t. Stranded for another day at my brother's house. But most importantly, stranded for another day without t. So I was rebooked on the first flight out this morning. And as I'm sitting on the plane waiting for everyone to board, several nascar fans found their way on board. One guy in particular caught my attention. What I noticed first was his leather hat. And I started thinking about men who proudly wear these baseball hats as though they're high fashion or an integral part of their outfit. Of course they don't think that... But that's how it looks because they won't go anywhere with out it. So back to the guy...

As he turns around, I notice that only the front of his nascar hat was leather. The rest was normal baseball hat material. So now I can't help but wonder - firstly, wtf? And secondly, what's the appeal of the hybrid hat? I would think that if you are interested in a leather hat, you're interested in the entire hat being leather. So, is the hybrid less expensive? Could this simply be an economics-based decision? Or is it more likely the sign of a nascar fan who's not entirely sure of his favourite driver and doesn't want to fully commit to the hat?

Anyway, on to other peculiar air travel happenings. This guy, who I'm lovingly referring to as "tubby", just plopped himself down across from me here at the Toronto airport. Seems as though Tubby's been busy making children (there appear to be four misbehaved youngsters nervously calling him dad). Anyway, Tubby's laziness knows no bounds. Not only has he failed to put in any effort to raise his kids to behave themselves, he also uses them... Nay, tries to manipulate them to do things like "put my gum in the garbage can" which is a mere 10 feet away. Tubby! You can use the exercise. Really. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for putting your kids to work, but get them to do things that teach them something. Like mowing the lawn.

the end approaches

so only two and a half days before i head to calgary. i'm wickedly excited. for a number of reasons. but i don't feel as though i have to explain myself to you.

t is already there. like a seasoned general (or a pussy), i sent her there first to make sure it was safe and to familiarize herself with the surroundings ahead of my arrival. i kid, i kid. she started her new job on monday (which she loves, btw for those who care) and... well... i don't have a job there yet and needed to give ample notice to my job here. luckily, i'm important enough that my boss won't just let me leave. he wants me to work remotely from calgary until at least march. so i have guaranteed income until then. so by the time i need to start turning tricks to support my crack habit, the weather will be starting to warm up.

reason #12: chinooks - self explanatory if you know what a chinook is.

so yeah... this might be my last post from atlantic canada. am i upset about that? hell no! screw you new brunswick!!

once i get there and my stuff shows up, i'll be posting again. and expect a post about superman.

clarification

so i'm talking on the phone last night with t and the topic of the infamous basketball game came up (if you're not familiar, i played a friendly game of basketball against her several months ago which she has been bragging about ever since because she claims to have won). i'm ok with that. she can tell people that she won, because i know that she knows the truth. and last night, the truth came out in the following sentence...

"Yeah. Okay. So I cheated. That doesn't mean I didn't win."

thank god that's over

ok. i'm back from 10 days of holiday cheer and wonderment. (sense the sarcasm people)

but let's not dwell on the past. 2007 is here. big things happening. we're moving to calgary. and by "we," i mean "me" -- i've been talking in the third person today. technically, "we" could also mean "me and t" because she's also moving to calgary, but in this instance i was solely talking about me.

we need a job. (again, just me. t has a job). so anyone who can hook us up with something would have our gratitude. and we know how to repay a favour.

what else do we need? oh! an apartment. hopefully we can take care of that ourselves. (this time, i'm talking about t and i). we're looking at a place near the trendy (but potentially whorish) red mile only a few blocks away from the stampede grounds. if only the bitch who manages the place would get back to us. maybe she's too busy turning tricks to check her email and voicemail.

we don't have any resolutions. we're already mostly perfect. and we don't hold any grudges against those who aren't as perfect as us.

we need a new cell phone. we're ready to put ours in a blender and then laugh maniacally as it gets ripped apart, piece by piece. SCREW YOU nokia. and screw you too motorola. though we think we're going to give motorola another chance.

gotta go finish our laundry. we're all out of clean clothes and we have to work tomorrow.