i guess i tend to sleep-email

it seems as though i've recently been sending myself a number of strange emails in the middle of the night. they all come from "me" and have subjects like:

"your insatiable chick will be full of pleasure" - wow, she's very lucky. i hope it was because of something i did.

"your clothes are upside down" - that would explain the staring, and the difficulty in getting dressed.

"let's report abuse about this" - umm... won't that get us in trouble?

"i forgot to leave you number" - i'm not quite sure what i'm saying here. i'm leaving me? i'm leaving someone named "number"?

"this man asked you number" - ok... another email about this "number" thing. a little more clarity would help.

"your comment was deleted" - which comment?

"joining us or what?" - i'm right here!

"again you are not right here" - yes i am. look at my last statement!

"about your late arrivals" - this must have something to do with air canada...

"can't call you right now" - that's right... i'm sleeping

"does 6 p.m. suit you?" - umm... i usually go to the gym at 6 p.m. - how's 8?

"everything is as you wanted" - great. that's exactly how i like everything.

"complaints about your car" - who's complaining?

"answer the mail, why do you ignore?" - oh shut up

"where are my papers, have you taken them?" - they're my papers.

"shall we meet again?" - yes... perhaps in the morning when i look in the mirror.

"if you miss our party, i will KILL you" - threats!

"your meaty instrument needs improvement" - now that's just mean. i think my meaty instrument is quite nice.

"need you in two hours" - ok. i'll be wherever i am.

"don't limit your pleasure" - good advice, even from myself.